Vertical Integration and Why You Can’t Call Everyone “Dude”

Earlier today I was reading the Wall Street Journal online.  That’s not atypical, as I generally give it a look when it’s raining and I’m bored enough to want to know what sort of informational roofies Rupert Murdoch is slipping into my parents’ generation’s drinks.  No matter how brutal the sodomy, they never feel the rectal tearing because they’ve been fed a drug dissolved into the appletini of respectability and grown-upness that is “The Journal.”  Between editorials, op-eds, and news items arranged to function as editorials about how Obama is destroying the banks I found a curious item about sunglasses.

Apparently designer sunglasses are bullshit.  My faith in the fashion accessories industry is shaken to its core. Continue reading

You Can Add “Oregon” To The List of Things Maryland Is Not

As my friends over at Gobble Gobble Gameday have no doubt noticed, tonight’s Maryland-Miami football game is looking a bit…ugly.  The play has been fine, with short-handed Miami currently trailing Maryland.  Miami’s defense is being pretty well outpaced by Maryland’s offense, but Miami’s Special Teams squad probably has some surprises in store for them.

The real story, though, is Maryland’s uniforms.  They’ve done it – the always-overrated Maryland, who is perennially “poised” to make a run at the ACC Championship but never fails to disappoint – they’ve found a new way to suck.  Have a look:

Photo Hat Tip: SportsGrid

Jesus Christ.  They look like an anime version of Lord Baltimore projectile-vomited onto an Under-Armour shirt (side-note: Why does Under-Armour get to use the “-our” version while flying an American flag?).  I know what you’re thinking – but what about the shoes?  Behold:

Photo by Patrick Semansky - AP

FAB-U-LOUS!  This right here is proof that money plays too big a role in college football.  I know season-opener unis can get a little weird but this is insane.