Getting V-Blasted!

There are two 7-11 stores within walking distance of my office.  The closer one is the good 7-11.  They are a perennial Hot Food Award winner (it’s a thing) and, unlike many, the staff is always pretty cheerful and efficient.  If I haven’t brought lunch to work I’ll usually go in there and get a wrap, an apple if they’re fresh, and some sort of zero-cal flavored water.  I know it’s not good for me, but the only thing you can drink that isn’t bad for you in some way is water and even that can be used wrong.  Let me drink something that tastes vaguely like dragonfruit and green tea with my lunch, I’m not hurting anyone.

The other day my friend and I had to go to The Other 7-11.  The Other 7-11 is right next to a bus depot, has a homeless guy in front of it more often than not, has never to my knowledge won the Hot Food Award, and has a staff that (understandably) doesn’t really care about people skills.  I don’t care for The Other 7-11, but I was hungry and there we were.  When I went to pick out my drink I noticed an odd-looking bottle in the vitamin water fridge.  It was called V-Blast and had a cap that looked like one on a “sport” bottle that squirts out the top.  I like things that squirt and I have a hard time passing up a drink whose name is a double entendre, so I bought it.  I’m serious about that double entendre thing – if there was a hot chocolate brand called Cleveland Steamer I’d drink a box of it every day during the cold season. Continue reading

You Can Add “Oregon” To The List of Things Maryland Is Not

As my friends over at Gobble Gobble Gameday have no doubt noticed, tonight’s Maryland-Miami football game is looking a bit…ugly.  The play has been fine, with short-handed Miami currently trailing Maryland.  Miami’s defense is being pretty well outpaced by Maryland’s offense, but Miami’s Special Teams squad probably has some surprises in store for them.

The real story, though, is Maryland’s uniforms.  They’ve done it – the always-overrated Maryland, who is perennially “poised” to make a run at the ACC Championship but never fails to disappoint – they’ve found a new way to suck.  Have a look:

Photo Hat Tip: SportsGrid

Jesus Christ.  They look like an anime version of Lord Baltimore projectile-vomited onto an Under-Armour shirt (side-note: Why does Under-Armour get to use the “-our” version while flying an American flag?).  I know what you’re thinking – but what about the shoes?  Behold:

Photo by Patrick Semansky - AP

FAB-U-LOUS!  This right here is proof that money plays too big a role in college football.  I know season-opener unis can get a little weird but this is insane.